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Posted by
Yonatan Cleese
(12/7/1969)- Hello, I wish to register a complaint...Hello?
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Posted by
Shopkeeper
(12/7/1969)- Sorry, we're closing for lunch.
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Posted by
Yonatan Cleese
(12/7/1969)- Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.
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Posted by
Shopkeeper
(12/7/1969)- Oh yes, the, the Norwegian Blue. What's wrong with it? |
Posted by
Yonatan Cleese
(12/7/1969)- I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. It's dead, that's what's wrong with it!
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Posted by
Shopkeeper
(12/7/1969)- No, no, it's resting! |
Posted by
Yonatan Cleese
(12/7/1969)- Look my lad, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.
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Posted by
Shopkeeper
(12/7/1969)- No no sir. it's not dead. It's resting! |
Posted by
Yonatan Cleese
(12/7/1969)- Resting?
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Posted by
Shopkeeper
(5/3/2003)- Yeah, remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, beautiful plumage, innit?
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Posted by
Yonatan Cleese
(12/7/1969)- The plumage don't enter into it - it's stone dead.
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Posted by
Shopkeeper
(12/7/1969)- No, no - it's just resting!
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Posted by
Yonatan Cleese
(12/7/1969)- All right then, if it's restin', I'll wake him up! Hello Polly! I've got a nice cuttlefish for you when you wake up, Polly Parrot!
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Posted by
Shopkeeper
(12/7/1969)- [Knocks the cage] There, it moved! |
Posted by
Yonatan Cleese
(12/7/1969)- No, he didn't. That was you pushing the cage!
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Posted by
Shopkeeper
(12/7/1969)- I did not.
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Posted by
Yonatan Cleese
(12/7/1969)- Yes, you did! [Takes Polly out of cage] Hello Polly, Polly [Bangs her against the counter] Polly Parrot, wake up. Polly. [Throws Polly in the air and lets her fall to the floor] Now that's what I call a dead parrot!
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Posted by
Shopkeeper
(12/7/1969)- No, no. It's stunned.
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Posted by
Yonatan Cleese
(12/7/1969)- Look my lad, I've had just about enough of this. That parrot is definitely deceased. And when I bought it not half an hour ago, you assured me that its lack of movement was due to it being tired and shagged out after a long squawk.
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Posted by
Shopkeeper
(12/7/1969)- It's probably pining for the fjords.
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Posted by
Yonatan Cleese
(12/7/1969)- Pining for the fjords, what kind of talk is that? Look, why did it fall flat on its back the moment I got it home?
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Posted by
Shopkeeper
(12/7/1969)- The Norwegian Blue prefers kipping on it's back! Beautiful bird, lovely plumage!
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Posted by
Yonatan Cleese
(12/7/1969)- Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the first place was that it had been nailed there.
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Posted by
Shopkeeper
(12/7/1969)- Well of course it was nailed there. Otherwise it would muscle up to those bars, and voom!
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Posted by
Yonatan Cleese
(12/7/1969)- Look matey, this parrot wouldn't voom if you put four thousand volts through it! It's bleedin' demised!
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Posted by
Shopkeeper
(12/7/1969)- It's not, it's pining!
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Posted by
Yonatan Cleese
(12/7/1969)- It's not pining, it's passed on. This parrot is no more! It has ceased to be. It's expired and gone to meet its maker.This is a late parrot. It's a stiff. Bereft of life, it rests in peace. If you hadn't nailed it to the perch it would be pushing up the daisies. It's rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible. This is an ex-parrot!
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Posted by
Shopkeeper
(12/7/1969)- Well, I'd better replace it, then.
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Posted by
Yonatan Cleese
(12/7/1969)- [Mumbling] If you want to get anything done in this country you've got to complain till you're blue in the mouth.
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Posted by
Shopkeeper
(12/7/1969)- Sorry guv, we're right out of parrots.
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Posted by
Yonatan Cleese
(12/7/1969)- I see. I see. I get the picture.
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Posted by
Shopkeeper
(12/7/1969)- I got a slug.
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Posted by
Yonatan Cleese
(12/7/1969)- Does it talk?
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Posted by
Shopkeeper
(12/7/1969)- Not really, no.
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Posted by
Yonatan Cleese
(12/7/1969)- Well, it's scarcely a replacement, then is it?
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Posted by
Shopkeeper
(12/7/1969)- Listen, I'll tell you what, if you go to my brother's pet shop in Bolton he'll replace your parrot for you.
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Posted by
Yonatan Cleese
(12/7/1969)- Bolton eh?
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Posted by
Shopkeeper
(12/7/1969)- Yeah.
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Posted by
Yonatan Cleese
(12/7/1969)- All right.
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